In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You ruined the universe
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
