I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
