It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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