Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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