2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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