a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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