Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My ass is underappreciated
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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