my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
