Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
