return my video game
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Your dad touched me again.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
