if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
