dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize