The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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