Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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