your room smells of hookers.
And success
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
