loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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