I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize