I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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