Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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