What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
vagina is talking i cant
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
