Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
