Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
