Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
