Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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