She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
