shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
