Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
