I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
