I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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