It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
