is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.