OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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