He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
