Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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