i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
