Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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