Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
