Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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