Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
