So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
time to smoke my breakfast
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
