Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
