I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It's Friday. Sex?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
