Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
