Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
