Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
