Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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