I think my fart just growled at me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize