So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
