I wish I could teleport
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
