dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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