At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
