why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
