As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
