well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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