Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
